Christmas Douche

This goes out to the mid 30's douche bag that bumped in to me today as I was off to the side of the street fixing something in my bag. Thanks for calling me a "fuckin idiot" and then when confronted about it, walking away but still running your mouth to something of the tough tune of "yeah well, why don't you just keep walking." I have no problem droppin all these bags I'm carrying and cleaning the street with your face. Did you really think I would be all "Oh I'm sorry" about you being a dick? Because you looked terrified as I spun around and egged you on to make something happen. I mean seriously, by the looks of that scarf, those leather clogs and your haircut, I doubt you are much of the fighting type. I'm sure your newly wed wife wouldn't like her family Christmas picture with you having a black eye or two.

So for future reference, please don't try and start a fight with me in the middle of Newbury Street in downtown Boston unless you are going to go through with it. I have very little patience and am a busy man. But in all realness, I would like to thank you for giving me a good laugh as I was frantically Christmas shopping. It's good to know I can count on an Ivy League bitch like yourself to try and start shit and then scurry away as I called your bluff.

Merry Christmas to everyone reading this and I hope you don't run into some douche bag that's all pissy because his Vineyard Vines polo has a rip in it. Get real prep school.

Pour me a Jack and Coke in honor of this angry and violent post, haha.