Don't Get Drunk at Your Girlfriend's Work

My girl works at a bar in the city and I consistantly go in to wait until she's done and have a few beers. But the other night I went in on a Friday after work and shit was juiced in there. Wall to wall people, bro's high fiving, a "DJ" droppin 80's hits and the beer taps just pouring consistantly. I mean picture a bar scene where people have their arms around each other and are singing "Whip it" by Devo together....yeah that kind of atmosphere.

So she had mad tables and was runnin around, so I get settled in at the bar and start with a tall Stella Artois, my fuckin draft beer go to. Mind you it's 11:30pm............one tall beer turns into six. Not to mention, two regulars I recognized came in and started including me on their rounds of shots. Mystery Shot, down the hatch. Round of Jameson shots, not a problem, slugged em. Shot of tequila, ugh, wasn't Patron but I got it down. Oh and some nachos this dude ordered and told me to "Fuckin eat em with him!"

At this point, I'm pretty buckled and of course, my girl is all cashed out and done work. Somehow it's 1:20am. She sits with me for a drink; she gets a vodka, cranberry and soda, and I get #7 Stella Artois. (This beer was not needed by any means).

She now hears about how I have been boozing for two hours and yuckin it up with her managers givin my two cents on what I think of some choice people, bad fuckin idea. But we leave, not too much harm done, and head over to a pizza place and pickup a few slices. As she orders said slices, I am practically laying on the counter and the miserable human being at the counter is givin me the stink eye.

2 slices of cheese pizza- $10.00. Done let's leave...

We finally get back to my spot and at this point I don't know up from down, pizza from lasagna, shit just isn't makin sense and neither am I. We put the pizza down and then for some reason try and go to bed, but I all of a sudden turn into a brutal prick and just start goin off about the dumbest shit possible. I'm sure this is exactly what she wanted after a long shift on a busy night, epic fail on my part.

Long story short the pizza stayed on the counter, I slept on the couch and woke up with THE worst hangover I have had in the longest time. I mean lips so dry they are just stuck together, a headache that made the noises of the couch make me wanna vomit, a stomach ache that warranted the feeling of food poisoning and the stickiest, grossest eye boogers you could even imagine. It looked and felt like Slimer from Ghostbusters took a steamy shit in my goddam eyes.

Moral of the story is, don't get drunk at your girlfriend's work and be an asshole. Cuz karma is a bitch and Slimer will come take a dump on you and your hangover.